Cultural Relevance

I remember when I was in elementary/middle school, I wanted to identify as a Chinese-American. In fact, the term ABC (American born Chinese) sounded so cool that I wanted to be one as well. But both my parents are from Burma, and when I tell other people that I’m Burmese, I usually get remarks like “so you’re basically Chinese.” The weird thing was that I was actually fine with that, it was so much easier to identify as a Chinese person. Posting pictures of myself celebrating Chinese new year, talking about Chinese legends, they were my ticket to belonging in a culture.

I never had the opportunity to fully embrace my Burmese culture until I attended the South East Asian (SEA) admit weekend at UCLA. This program was exclusively for South East Asian admitted students, and my initial thought was why is this exclusive to only South East Asians? Isn’t that a bit racist? During my flight to LAX, I was thinking oh this is just gonna be one of those programs with a bunch of Asians. Albeit this was true (lol), the experience I had there is something that I’ll definitely cherish for the rest of my life. I guess I’ve never felt so warm and valued in such a group, like a family. It was kind of like those summer programs I had attended, John’s Hopkins CTY, Red Cross’s LDC, where you with completely random people. But what was different, was that we were all connected by our South East Asian culture. I never knew about the experiences of Vietnamese, Laos, Hmong, Cambodian students.

Something that really touched me was a story a Vietnamese student shared about his dad. Many people look down on those who perform the “low-level” jobs, and he was surrounded by that type of environment growing up. But his dad was that person you see cutting boxes at the supermarket. His father was always seen as one of those, those people who picked up our trash, who cleaned our buildings. I could see, how it was hard to be proud of a person who was marginalized, seen as inferior. But even more so than feeling proud, how he would feel just thinking or talking about his dad. When my dad came to America, he had to bus boy at restaurants to get by, and I remember when I was younger, I would feel even ashamed to bring that up. But the program wasn’t about being a sob story, I feel it was about the experience of sharing —talking about something that as minorities, not many people give a second glance to. Hearing South East Asians share stories about separated families, hiding their sexual orientations, and growing up in refugee camps gave me a fuller perspective of the South East Asian identity. Relevancy, I thought that it wasn’t so special. It’s a term that refers to a group of people, and after all, aren’t we taught to embrace (or even impose) our individuality? Of course, people will agree that relevancy is important, feeling relevant will boost your self-esteem, etc. But I think cultural relevancy is more than that, it means finding comfort in between familial generations.

I think that Eddie Huang describes this kind of cultural relevancy pretty well in his TV show Fresh Off the Boat (episode 13 can click that link to watch). Jessica expresses a conflict how people will never view her as “simply American,” yet she also cannot be “fully Chinese” since she has lost contact with some of her old traditions. As a child, Eddie Huang tried to identify with the African-American culture, kind of like MC Jin and other Asians who looked up to cultures other than their own: American, African-American, Spanish, etc. So yes, while I feel that a part of cultural relevancy is about preserving our culture, self-discovery of cultural relevancy is finding sort of a compromise between past generations and the present.

That’s how culture truly evolves with time.

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Hello world

I thought it was pretty coincidental how the default intro post was titled “Hello World.” I have spent the majority of my senior year exploring Computer Science as an intern at Caviar/Square, and as I am intending to study CS at Swarthmore in August, I thought it was pretty fitting to keep this title as my introduction.

Something that has been on my mind is to start a blog, ever since writing about myself for my college applications, although it was a big drain on time and my mind, I can honestly say that I actually enjoyed it. I had enjoyed reflecting my life in my time alone, but putting those thoughts onto paper was – I guess – substantiating. When others would ask me things like “what matters most to me” or even about the things I valued in myself, I felt confident and comfortable answering. Writing down my thoughts was a way for me to substantiate my identity.

So why am I starting a blog? Couldn’t I just write in my journal and keep it private? I’m not too sure myself, did I want to post my thoughts on the interwebs to gain some sort of attention? The more I think about it, I think it’s for both myself and others. It’s kind of like my experience on reddit, many people have helped me posting stories about themselves, and as I mature and enter college, I want to join that community and share my thoughts — even if hundreds of people read this and resonates with only one person, or on the flipside if nobody reads it, I would be happy. Publishing to the public is also a way for me to discover my relevancy in this life, I want to challenge my values by questioning my thoughts, and I also want to connect with people that care to improve.

I never really would’ve thought of myself as a deeply intellectual person, but I will begin this journey to become one as I matriculate into one of the most intellectually intense communities in the world. Or maybe I’m thinking this way because of the social norms publicized at Swarthmore.

Starting this blog now, I had to choose a title and a tagline. What do I want other people to see me as? Or what do I value in my life? They will probably change, but for now:

Title: Becoming Interesting

Tagline: My reflections as I seek passion and relevancy.