Chasing romanticized ideas of some things, then realizing the reality of them.
Having my eyes wide open in my seminar. Soaking everything in, learning so much that I can’t imagine to be asleep. Pages flipping so quickly as everything in my brain is clicking together when looking at past readings.
When relationships get nuanced.
Maturing my naive feelings, and the joy of chasing those matured feelings.
Sitting in the chair of the music library, completely entranced in my readings. I don’t feel my neck pain anymore, because the ideas in my head are flying everywhere and making connections with each other.
Walking frustratingly into office hours driven by questions rather than trying to impress.
Questioning… Questioning why the hell I’m here.
Questioning why I care about prestige.
Not knowing what I’m going to get myself into, then doing it anyway.
Feeling like you’ve met a spiritual sage talking to your professor.
You know that feeling when you have to write a paper that is 7 pages long, and have no idea how the hell you’re going to complete it? But there is the beautiful moment when you get so immersed in the content that you forget about small details like page length. Getting so dedicated to trying to tell the best story, forming the best arguments – then by the time you know it, you’ve exceeded the page length requirement.
Having the autonomy to do what I want, and focusing the things that I actually care about. Then riding on that positive wave of confidence where everything just seems to be getting better. Hitting new PRs (increasing my lifts) everyday in the gym, sleeping better and better, classes getting more engaging and challenging, becoming happier and happier in general.
Being unable to sleep, then playing pool, talking about life, and cooking with friends until 5 AM.
Reading about my culture and things from my childhood – but scribbled in the margins are the confusing inconsistencies stuck in my head, questioning how my values are conflicting with what I’m reading.
Being completely captivated by your math professor.
Doing random things just to spice things up.
Having people you care about that do those random things with you.
Maturing relationships with parents and friends.
Having a lot of things to do but ending up writing anyways because that’s what is more important.
Eating by myself.
Making mistakes, feeling terrible, and vowing never to do them again.
Going to New York during finals week.
Talking late into the night not just about academics but about living life.
Waking up in the morning, jumping out of the bed and skipping to the bathroom with a smile plastered on my face. What a time to be alive.
Having lots of homework to do, then dropping all of it to do something spontaneous with friends. Just to spice things up.
Having friends who are genuinely happy and passionate about life.
[This was extremely fun and nostalgic to write! I’m excited to write another every semester/year to see how my college experience matures]